10 Love Myths

Love myths are so pervasive today because we never unplug. We listen to love songs while we get ready in the morning, scroll through pictures of “perfect” couples on Instagram when we’re bored at work, watch rom-coms to relax at night, and follow the dramas of celebrity couples 24/7. We’re so immersed in the myths that most of us hold a ton of misconceptions about relationships. If you want to be happy in love and have a fulfilling relationship, it’s time to get real and ditch these 10 popular myths about love.

THERE’S ONE PERFECT PERSON OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE
Soulmates don’t exist. There’s someone out there who is perfect for you, but there isn’t one person you’re destined to end up with. If that was the case, your odds of ever meeting that person are so small that no one would ever find love. In all practicality, there are many men in the world who could be the one for you. There’s power in knowing you will choose each other instead of chalking your relationship up to fate.

LOVE IS A SIGN THAT YOU’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER
Loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean he’s The One. You also need compatibility, respect, chemistry, and support, among other things. We regularly see dysfunctional couples stay together out of love, but that love is meaningless if they’re hurting each other. If your relationship is making you unhappy, you can absolutely find love with someone else that’s a better match for you.

YOU NEED ROMANTIC LOVE TO BE HAPPY
Single women aren’t perpetually sad until their Prince Charming shows up. You can be perfectly happy loving your friends, family, career, the city you live in, your pet, the arts, or a million other things. Romantic love can enhance your happiness, but it isn’t a requirement for it.

THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST
We like to over-romanticize our first experiences. We put a ton of emotional value in our first kiss, first sexual experience, and first love. And while first experiences are important milestones, they generally aren’t the most significant. The man you chose to build your life with is infinitely more important than the first guy you fell in love with.

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED
There are literally hundreds of things you need more than love. Clean drinking water, clothes and shelter, breathable air, pizza… the list goes on and on. Ditch this myth so you don’t over-sacrifice or compromise other things you need, like your career or your friends, for the sake of love.

LOVE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL COMPLETE
You’re the only one who can make yourself feel whole and fulfilled. If you’re waiting around for someone to complete you, you’re wasting your time. It’s not going to happen, and that’s an unfair expectation to put on someone who could otherwise make you very happy.

JEALOUSY AND DRAMA ARE JUST SYMPTOMS OF LOVE
These things don’t have to go hand in hand! You don’t have to put up with jealousy and drama because you want a relationship, and love is not an excuse for acting crazy. Never tolerate hurtful behaviors in your search to find love.

WHEN YOU MEET THE ONE, YOU’LL KNOW INSTANTLY
There’s no love at first sight, only lust at first sight. Sure, that lust can turn into love, but most people need time to get to know each other before they can be sure they want to commit. Taking your time in a relationship is usually a smart and necessary precaution, not a sign that he’s not the one.

MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGE IS THE ONLY OPTION FOR PEOPLE IN LOVE
If these things are important to you, then definitely don’t compromise, but you shouldn’t feel pigeonholed into them if you’re not interested. Love, sex, and marriage are all complicated things that won’t neatly fit into the heteronormative stereotype for everyone. Don’t be scared of love if you’re actually just disinterested in marriage or monogamy, because you can find someone who shares your viewpoints if you are open and honest with each other.

YOU’LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Relationships are WORK. Finding love is not the end game to all your struggles, it’s just the end of facing them alone. You will have new trials and obstacles to get through, including the challenge of maintaining a long term relationship. If you’re not willing to put the effort in, your happy ending is likely doomed.